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    I have a friend whose father died 4 years ago. Her mother got married again and now 3 of them are living together i.e. my friend, her mother and the man whom her mother got married. Her father is good, he is really nice but my friend doesnt likes him. She calls him uncle, she doesnt talk nicely to him. She dont like that man. And she isnt able to cope up till now. She isnt happy. What can make her feel good and make her realise that the person whom she calls uncle can really be a great father?


    Dear Subscriber

    Tell your friend not to make presumptions about her step father. If her mother has chosen him, she might have considered all the aspects. Ask your friend, what if your mother start making comments about your her friends on presumptive basis? Would you like it? No, never. She would tell your mother to first meet her friends, know them and then make any opinion. Same principle applies to her also. Moreover, on what basis, you are saying that her father is good person? You must have observed his behaviour. Tell your friend to treat her father as a normal human being and then analyise his nature, attitude and behaviour. Also ask her, what she does not like about her father? If she is not ready to do, what has been suggested above then she needs counselling.


    Firstly, your friend should think about her mother. She has also got right to live her life. This she will understand after some time but for the sake of her mother she should try to understand her step father. She might not like his some of the habits but every person has something good in him. So she should try to talk to her step father then only she will come to know him as a person. Most importantly, she should understand that no body can take place of her father but atleast she should give him a chance to be father-like. If she will have strained relations with him then it will hurt her mother as well. May be your friend’s step father become a good friend for her but unless and until she gives him a chance, nothing positive will happen. Ask her to be open and good to her step father, just for the sake of her mother and eventually everything will be normal.

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