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Dear RSharma
According to your updated post it seems that you can get rid of this situation in a planned manner, if you wish so but mind it that you need to be strong enough and remain firm on your decision.
It is good that the lady is not creating any trouble in your marriage. Now act carefully and look for a girl who is more beautiful than your bhabhi and spend time to know and understand her nature. I know it is difficult but you have no other choice because you will keep comparing your wife with this lady after marriage and in case you do not find her better you may regret on your decision.
Other way is prepare your mind that every person has his/ her own qualities and accordingly if your heart and mind agree for not comparing these ladies than go a head for marriage. After marriage things will start turning around and if you manage the things intelligently i.e. avoiding this lady and giving your wife everything, you may lead easy life.Dear RSharma
In such a situation you need to check the sentiments of that lady by informing her that your family is planning for your marriage. Watch out her expressions. If she over reacts you need to tell her that this relationship is not going to work long and in case you both r caught it will be much more embrassing situation.
Tell her that in the eyes of everyone her husband is guilty at present but in case your relationship is known to all you might not cope up with that situation.
Now, since much time has passed since she felt emotionally week and in present circumstances she must not behave the way she did earlier.
Tell her to keep herself occupied in some work and help her in finding some job or starting some business. Keeping her busy will help her in coming out of this situation.Dost aaj kal ye problem bahut common hai kyuki aajkal ki ladkiyo ko har tarah ki aazadi chahiye. Vo chahti hai vo apni marji se jaage, kaam wali kaam kar jaye, vo apne hisab se mobile pe chatting kare, jab chahe soye, TV dekhe or life enjoy kare. Unhe pariwar se matlab nahi hota. Unhe pariwar ki jarurat tab pata chalti hai jab dusra bacha ho jaye or ghar ka kaam, bacho ko sambhalna, school bhejna or sab kuch manage karne pade. Unhe saas ki yaad aati hai bache sambhalne k liye taki vo azadi se ghumne ja sake ya jab koi illness aa jaye. Usme bhi kayi ladkiya saas ki jagah apni maa ki help lena pasand karti hai.
Aisi halaat me aap ya aapka bhai strictly apni biwi or uske pariwar ko bol de ki jaise vo chahti hai vaise kabhi nahi hoga. Ya phir aapka bhai apni biwi se baat kare ki usko aapki maa se kya problem hai or sort out kare. Unhe apni biwi ko thoda strictly kehna hoga or na maane to thode din dur rehkar usse ahsas karwaya ja sakta hai. Ye bhi possible hai ki aapke mata g kuch jyada expectation karte ho to unhe bhi thoda adjust karna padega.Appko ye baat bahut dhyan se samjhani hogi. Jab tablighi jamat ka case hus tha tab corona desh me just aaya tha or WHO ki guidelines k hisab se sarkar ne lockdown kiya. Tablighi jamaat ne kanoon toda or sarkar ko koi intimation nahi di, doctors ko cooperate nahi kiya, pather fainke, thuka or na jaane kya kya. Iske ellawa unhone visa niyamo ka bhi ullanghan kiya, chalo usse chhodo.
Ram mandir ki neev 492 saal k intejar k baad rakhi gayi hai or vo bhi Supreme Court ke faisle k baad. SC k faisle se pehle jo log keh rahe the ki hum SC ka decision maanege vo Ram Mandir shilanyas k baad usse toddne ki dhamikiya bhi de rahe hai to aapke hisab se to ram mandir banane ki jagah vaha school ya hospital bana de, kyu theek hai na? Yehi baat pseudo secular bhi kehte hai.
Aapki koi self respect hai ki nahi? Aapko agar mummy papa gussa kare to aapli self respect hurt hoti hai ki nahi. Hinduo ko 492 saal ladna pada ram mandir k liye aapne hi desh me or vo bhi sirf kuch jaahilo ki jidd k kaaran or hamare samvidhan k kaaran. Aapne shayad suna nahi hoga abhi taja taja Turkey ne hazaro saal purani Chruch ko Masjid bana diya bina kisi ko sunne. Muslims aise behave karte hai jaha vo majority me hai.
Pehli baat Ram Mandir sirf mandir nahi hinduo ki asmita ka prashn hai. Dusri baat Corona ko ab 6 mahine ho chuke or ab hospitals, doctors, sarkar sab ko pata hai ki kya karna hai kya nahi. Tablighiyo k time aisa nahi tha. Tab sarkar ne lockdown kiya par ab teen mahino se aap sab bhi to bahar ja aa sakte ho. Main baat Ram Mandir k shilanyas me social distancing ka pura dhayan rakha gaya or aaj 20 din baad bhi vaha se koi corona failne ki khabar nahi aayi. Agar ek do logo ko hua bhi hai to vo to vaise bhi ho sakta tha.
Bahut si baate un logo dwara faillayi jati hai jo khud sarkari aaadesho ka palan nahi karte or rajniti karne k liye aisa karte hai.
Rokkane ko to sab kuch roka ja sakta hai par agar practically dekha jaaye to 100 crore logo ki aastha ka etna bhadda majak world me kahi nahi uddaya gaya hoga jaise hindustan me hinduo k saath hua.
Aapne ye to bol diya par kya aapko pata hai ki bahut sare dharmik jagaho par aaj bhi bina kisi niyam ka paalan kiya log din me 5-5 baar ekathhe hote hai.
Hinduo ne to bahut dhayan rakhe tabhi to sirf 200 log thhe vaha or vo bhi puri social distance k saath. Agar corona nahi hota to vaha duniya ka sabse badda jamghat lagte jo ek world record hota. Isliye for god sake krioya suni sunayi baato ki jagah aap puri jaankari haasil kiya kare or ha agli baar apni self respect pe koi baat aaye to jara is baat ko jarur yaad karle.This policy will be helpful to poor people in choosing vocational courses and after getting practical exposure, earning their livelihood. This is need of the hour because at present 10th passed are not able to do any job or earn livelihood.
I think the simplest way to deal with this issue is to allow full rebate/ waiver to deserving parents belonging to poor or lower middle class whose income is less than certain prescribed amount, to be determined by government. Middle class may be allowed waiver of 30{551c903f756d5bf12b7d58e2eb1e8b74af35058efa7a05d3e7b41e9147979503} fee and others should pay the full amount, treating it as contribution to society.
School management should calculate the fixed expenses they are incurring and try to collect that after analyses of each student.
Highly paid teachers and teachers belonging to well to do families may also forgo their salaries.Sanatan dharam me har cheej k peeche logic hai. Deepak jala k pooja karna or ghanti bajane k peeche bhi scientific reason hai. Ghanti taambe ki banati thi or usse bajane se jo dhwani utpan hoti thi vo bahut positive waves deti thi. Ghanti ki dhwani rythm me bajne par mann ko aanand milta hai or uski awaj se keet, patange, jo raat ko aate thhe, vo bhi chale jaate hai. Ghanti ki awaj positivity to deti hi thi saath hi uski awaj se logo ko pata chal jata tha mandir me aarti ho rahi hai. Ghanti ki awaj to bimar aadmi ko bhi achi lagti hai.
If you are having such feelings then you must consult a psychological counselor to ascertain exact reason. Sometimes your feelings are not correct and later on life you may feel otherwise. First check ur sentiments, feelings about girls. Do u hv attraction towards girls? IF you get attracted towards beautiful girls than your case may be a different one. I have read such cases where gay and lesbians, living together parted ways after a few months. They came to know that they were not what they believed to be, after spending sometime. So, to ascertain your feelings towards beautiful or sober girls spend time in their company and if still u feel like this then consult some expert. You can avail such services thru this website also, if you don’t want to hv face to face interaction.
I feel that they are not sharing a good relationship and also have a problem in understanding each other. U need to read the article “Sanatan and Western Culture”. Your friend need to discuss the issue with her MIL in detail and tell her clearly that relationship always works when it is on mutual basis. Unless one reciprocates in same manner, the other can’t carry it too far. If she does not understand the needs of her children/ grand children now, then she should not expect anything from other side too. There is no logic in having arguments with spouse.
I think all the parents will express same views but nobody is ready to implement the same to his/ her child. Follow what we preach, has just remained a saying. This scene will not change until and unless the government, society, schools, parents, children all are on same page. So, it needs a movement, like swachh bharat abhiyan, to change the mindset of all. A long long movement is need of hour to change the mindset.
Many ppl hv such habbit. Whenever it happens, the best way is to leave that place. Initially u may find it difficult but with the passage of time u will be able to control it.
