We all know that molestation of women and children is very common. Generally, women face molestation at work place, whereas children face such situation at their home and especially at the hands of their close relatives, friends or neighbours. Majority of cases go unreported because the sufferer does not come forward to lodge complaint, due to fear of society and stigma on him/ her.
For in-depth analysis of this issue, we need to study it thoroughly from every angle. Here I would like to first express my view point that I am neither against western culture nor do I advocate to adopt our culture blindly, which is not possible in today’s time. I am just putting the facts and logic behind it, in front of you. Now let us discuss this issue in detail to find out the reasons:
We have become modern by adopting the western culture and have allowed our children to follow it blindly, without looking at the advantages and disadvantages of the same.
Actually, the Britishers succeeded in their plan to make us feel inferior as compared to them. They got a thorough research done on our culture and found that they cannot rule Bharat too long, until and unless they destroy our rich heritage, traditions and culture.
We feel proud, when our children speak English, wear western cloths and behave like Britishers. While, blindly following these English traditions, we inadvertently allowed our children to do many such acts, which does not suit our society due to various reasons. We allowed our children to watch TV programs, movies, serials which contain vulgar, indecent, inappropriate scenes and acts but when our children ask us some question, we feel embarrassed and avoid replying it.
Basically, the problem is, we are hypocrites. Don’t mind but we have double standards. A woman loves to wear western dresses, which became short with each passing day, but she can’t tolerate her husband talking to any such lady. I am not against anyone but just want to say that adopt any culture but do follow it whole heartedly.
Another example of hypocrisy is we don’t have any objection if our boy has girlfriend but our girl should not have any boyfriend. We can’t tolerate any one staring at our daughter but never tell our son, not to do so. We want them to be westernized in walking and talking but don’t like to see them kissing someone in public or talking about such things, which I too want to avoid writing here. Why it is so? It is because, we are from great Sanatan Culture where everything was logical and scientific. Although, there are certain misconceptions about it, but if we try, their true interpretation or logic can be found. You can raise such issues on “Social Issues” link on portal.
We started preferring nuclear families, instead of joint. We started thinking selfishly and stopped bothering about family. We are feeling concerned only with our spouse and children or maximum to parents, that too in very few cases, and not to our real brothers and sisters. In the coming days our children will forget the relations such as Bhua-Fufa, Chacha-Chachi, Mama-Mami, Masi-Mausa, Taya-Tayi. The result of nuclear families is that single children does not know the emotional touch of such relations and more serious is the relation between brother-sister. How the single children can feel attached or have emotions for such relations?
Our traditions, which we rejected calling orthodox, were logical and scientific. Just see the sequence of events. A boy or girl used to get married at the age of around 15 years.
Till then, he/ she was living in family environment, learning socializing, caring for emotions of family members. He/ she used to learn the husband-wife relationship aspects only after marriage and that was the reason, the married women used to have ghunghat while facing every elder man. You would agree that until you see something good, you don’t have fascination about it. Same was the concept in case of ghunghat. To avoid fascinationand bad intentions, the ghunghat worked as a wall. Even the girls used to wear graceful cloths which never allowed any one to have erotic feeling. Moreover, the woman and girls were not allowed to meet man or boys at lonely places. Although, you may call it orthodox thinking but these traditions saved our woman and girls from facing molestation. I don’t claim that there was not a single case of this sort but what I am saying is that, the precautionary measures were in place because probably our ancestors knew that dignity of a woman is very sensitive matter and needs to be protected by all means.
If we look for the reasons of molestation, they include; firstly, the erotic feeling which one nurtures, secondly, the favourable place and thirdly the courage to commit such crime. How does the first feeling comes, is a million-dollar question to be replied because other two does not matter until this exists. Nowadays, the social media, which we feel is the most happening invention of human mind, is full of vulgar, indecent, shameless content which provoke only and only, erotic feelings. You just tell me, how much content, you have found on social media which is useful in studies. Even when a student tries to find study related content on social media, they place such vulgar and indecent advertisements over there, that a young student can’t resist too long from watching them.
The favourable place where such incident takes place is either the work place or home. How and why, work place becomes vulnerable for such things? Perhaps it is the mean mentality of a man regarding a working woman. (Also, this is one of the reasons that many men don’t want the ladies of their home to work because they think that all men are alike. Who can better understand a man than a man?) In such cases there are two options, either to avoid such situation or to face it and resolve. Second alternative is least affordable for women and children due to our social culture, which neither became Western nor remained Indian. So, mostly the first option of avoiding it is preferred, but such behaviour gives boost to the culprit, who gets more arrogant and furious. The government has made law to punish such culprits and provision for resolution of such cases has been made at work place.
So, I strongly feel that one should adopt one culture, be it Western or Indian. If you adopt Indian culture then either sit at home or do job following Indian traditions, i.e. wear proper Indian cloths, never remain alone in office, if you are forced to remain alone then also don’t worry and just be Mahakali, when required. Always remember that power comes from mind and not body. If you adopt Western Culture then don’t bother about the society and immediately teach appropriate lesson to the culprit either yourself or through legal recourse, but don’t remain silent in any case.
Now coming to molestation of children, which mainly happens at home and at the hands of close relatives, friends or neighbours. Primarily, I would suggest all to come back to our Indian Culture and follow all the Indian traditions. I assure you, your 80% problems will stand vanished, the day you do so. Please be in joint family to avoid such incidents. Although, all schools are teaching good and bad touch to children, but they don’t teach, how to be courageous. We can do following actions to avoid such incidents:
- Living in joint family may be beneficial as the grandparents can take care of children.
- Be vigilant and observe actions of close relatives, friends, neighbors. Such culprit does give hints, which you need to understand as parent.
- Talk to your children and frankly ask what he/ she knows about good and bad touch.
- Give him/ her more detailed information about it. Don’t feel shy because getting shameless now is better, than getting shameless later.
- Teach him/ her to be courageous and not to be afraid of such person. Keep an eye on behaviour of persons, meeting your children.
- If you have doubt on someone, just create an environment and give a chance to that person, to catch him red handed.
- There is a difference in love and lust and we need to understand it. If you keenly observe the behaviour of such person, you can easily find him.
- Get your child self-defense training, so that he/ she can save himself/ herself, if caught in such a situation.
- Some basic tips of self-defense are known to everyone. Practice those tips with your children once every month, to keep them reminding. This will make them courageous.
- Molestation can happen to boys also, so do take care of your son.
I have tried to cover all the points in my mind. Suggestions and comments are welcome. Please do inform, if any correction is required.
(These are the personal views of the author. These views do not constitute as advice. Please consult appropriate expert professional before taking any action on the basis of these views. Author shall not be liable for any act done on basis of this article)